


first love

by fluffysfics



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, pure fluff, very very minor hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24775447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffysfics/pseuds/fluffysfics
Summary: The Doctor and the Master share a lazy morning together in bed, and the Doctor has a few thoughts about love.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 70





	first love

The Doctor had loved many people in her lives. There was a place in her hearts for every companion that had ever travelled with her, and a few that were extra special to her, for whatever reason- Susan, Sarah Jane, Ace, Rose, Clara, to name just a few. Then, of course, there was River, one of the few people who had ever really been a match for her. If she was properly assigning the space in her hearts, River would probably have at least half a heart all to herself.

But there was no love quite like first love. First love, she thought, didn’t have a space in her hearts. It had both of them, in their entirety, and it gripped her mind and made her head spin with dizzy disbelief when she thought about the path they’d taken to get here. 

First love was what made her smile, soft and sad and _grateful_ , at the sleeping form of the Master lying next to her. Next to her, for the first time in so many years, and she wasn’t even slightly afraid that he was going to open his eyes and slip a knife into her back. She’d missed being able to trust. 

The Doctor shuffled over slightly, just enough so that she could press her lips against his shoulder blade, and work a steady, studious trail of kisses all the way up his neck, to his lips. He woke up when she was about halfway across his collarbone, but it wasn’t until she reached his lips that he finally reacted, slipping a hand into her hair as he kissed her back. 

“Hello,” she mumbled when they broke apart, pulling away to lie back down and nestle her face into his neck. 

It was still novel to her, _liking_ someone else’s touch- she could hardly stand a hug from her companions, but the Master, as usual, took all her rules and cheerfully threw them out of the nearest window. It was hardly perfect- sometimes she still tensed or flinched if he brushed against her unexpectedly, but he had learned to telegraph his movements well, and she was grateful for it. It was a relief, having someone who, most of the time, she was comfortable with hugging. 

“Nice way to wake up.” He threaded his fingers back through her hair, scratching lightly at the scalp. The Doctor closed her eyes, letting out a pleased hum, and found that any desire to respond had melted away entirely. She adored fingers in her hair, and the Master delighted in taking advantage of it. “Then again, every time I wake up next to you is nice.” 

“That’s very sappy of you,” she murmured, cracking one eye open for the sole purpose of seeing his face as she grinned at him. The Master just pouted, and tugged rather hard on her hair. She snickered, sinking her teeth none-too-gently into the side of his neck in retaliation. It was hardly retaliation when he enjoyed it, though, and she knew he did. 

“You’re a terrible influence on me,” the Master grumbled, his hand moving to prod at a bruise he’d left on her neck before they’d gone to sleep. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, and prodded at several identical ones on his own skin. 

“Good influence, more like. You’re doing well, anyway. You were almost _friendly_ to that nice shopkeeper in Akhaten the other day.” 

“Terrible lapse in judgement. Won’t happen again,” he said lightly, stretching out luxuriously along the bed. He looked like a particularly contented cat, she thought fondly. “Do I get to know what I did to earn being kissed awake like that?” 

“Hm? Oh. You didn’t _do_ anything, really. I was just thinking.” 

The Master raised an expectant eyebrow. 

“You’ll tease me about it if I tell you. I _know_ you, Koschei.” 

“I won’t,” the Master insisted. She held his gaze, quirked an eyebrow up, and he grinned, and relented. “I might.” 

The Doctor rolled her eyes, and told him anyway. “Was thinking about how much I- love you.” They were hard words to say out loud. Not just to the Master. To anyone. She avoided them like the plague, when she could. But for him, she could bear the occasional discomfort of forcing those words past her lips. After everything they’d put each other through, he deserved that much effort from her. “And how long I’ve done that for. And I mean- I’ve...felt that way, about other people. But always you, too.” 

To his credit, the Master didn’t tease her. Less to his credit, he closed his eyes, and she could _feel_ the prickle of jealousy that rolled off of him. “Other people,” he said, quietly, not opening his eyes again. 

The Doctor sat up a little, and folded her arms. She would _not_ feel bad for living her life the way she did, for loving people so easily even if she couldn’t say the words out loud most of the time. That was just something that the Master was going to have to get used to, she decided. 

“Other people,” she repeated firmly. “You know about River. And all my companions. You’re not the only person I’ve loved.” She hesitated. “But you were the first, y’know. And I never _stopped_. Ever. All those people were special to me, and so are you. You’re not less than any of them. And- look, who’m I here with now? You. Not any of them. You. You’ve got me.” 

The Master cracked an eye open, and regarded her quietly, and the Doctor could practically see what was on his mind. Was he the first? Was he, or was there a long line of people just like him that she didn’t even _remember_ now? This, she knew, was still a point of insecurity for him. She doubted that it would ever _stop_ being one, despite her best efforts. 

“I mean it,” she said, a little less sternly. “You’ve got my attention. All of it. If I’m not worrying about my past, you definitely shouldn’t be.” The Doctor bent down, and kissed him, feeling him relax under her touch. Or maybe it was because of what she’d said. Maybe it was both. She never quite knew what was going to work on him. 

She pulled away eventually, carding her fingers through the Master’s hair to smooth it away from his face. He looked like he wanted to speak, so she waited patiently while he got his words together. It wasn’t often that she _waited_ for people, and she wondered if he knew how special he was, for being able to hold her attention like that. 

“I’ve never loved anyone except you,” the Master said eventually. His voice was soft, and he avoided her gaze, but she could see the slight glint of tears in his eyes. He cried so much more easily than she did, this time around. Sometimes, she envied him for it. “I don’t- _expect_ you not to care for anyone except me, Doctor. I know you. But _you_ are the only person I’ve _ever_ felt this way for, and I-“ He cut himself off, and sighed. 

“You get jealous,” she finished, and he twisted his face in a way that implied that he was _not_ going to say it like that, but yes, that was what he meant. “We can work on that. Maybe find a companion for us. Both of us. Bet there’s _some_ humans you’d like. Jo! You liked Jo Grant, didn’t you.” 

The Master groaned, the tension deflating like a balloon, and the Doctor did her best to disguise her relief. The last thing she needed was for this perfect morning to be ruined by him getting upset. “I do _not_ need human friends, Theta. Jo was just- _interesting_.” 

“You liked her,” the Doctor insisted, kissing him again. “And we’ll find other people that you like. Maybe even love. Some day. Not now. Now, I’ve got you all to myself. Kinda like that, a lot.” 

“See, you’re just as bad as me sometimes,” the Master said, not sounding terribly upset about it. 

“You’re a terrible influence on me,” the Doctor replied easily, echoing his words from earlier. It’s far too early in the day to dwell on anything serious for too long, she decided, swinging one leg over the Master’s hips so she was straddling him. _That_ got his attention. 

“Don’t think I’ll mind being a terrible influence on you for a bit longer, if you’re going to stay up there,” he said, hands already warm on her hips, those huge dark eyes of his locked on hers. 

“Good,” was all that the Doctor said in return, and then she was leaning down to kiss him again. The rest of the morning, she knew, was going to pass in a blur, and then maybe she could convince the Master to make her a late breakfast. That was always nice, having the time to do that, not having to rush about with humans or worry about the latest distress call from some far-off colony planet. 

The Doctor had loved many people in her lives. She knew she’d love many more. But the Master was her first, and it was warm, lazy moments like this that made her sure that he would be her last, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> idk why but I have been fussing over this cute fluffy short thing WAY more than any of the angsty things I write, I hope it’s okay? comments and kudos very much appreciated <3


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